“Kwazy Cupcakes” Takes the Precinct By Storm
This week’s episode of “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” on FOX featured a very special guest star: a barely-disguised parody of Candy Crush called “Kwazy Cupcakes.” Though only the C-plot for the episode behind various romantic entanglements amongst the main cast, there was still plenty of time for Captain Holt (Andre Brauger) to develop a serious addiction to the game. Welcome to the club, Captain.
Gina (Chelsea Peretti) is the first of the precinct to fall prey to Kwazy Cupcakes, telling Holt that she has stopped having “normal” dreams and instead only sees vividly colored cupcakes when she closes her eyes. (She has our condolences. We’ve had those dreams far too many times to even remember what “normal” sleeping is like.) Holt retorts that he has far too much self-control to be the game’s next victim, but even the captain’s legendary robotic nature can’t save him from the grips of such a viciously addictive time sink. Soon the captain is playing in his office, the bathroom, and eventually in public while ignoring everything around him. Sounds all too familiar, doesn’t it?
Spoiler alert: in the end, Holt does overcome his cupcake kwaziness when Gina forces him to confront clueless Detective Hitchcock (Dirk Blocker), whose enthusiasm for the game forces Holt to reevaluate how much time he’s spent matching sweets. But those of us who don’t have a Hitchcock in front of us may be doomed to our Candy Crush craving forever in the real world–unless we can learn the same lesson Holt did and quit cold turkey.
Oh, who are we kidding? That’s never going to happen for us. But the episode was a hoot, and how many times are you going to get a Candy Crush plotline on a cable TV sitcom? There was some other stuff happening too with Rosa (Stephanie Beatriz) torturing Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio) and Andy Samberg’s ongoing quest to get the Coolest Kill trophy, but we all know what the real star was.